We previously reviewed the three crucial disciplines that need to be in place as a couple makes a Godly decision: Knowing the Word of God, Developing the Mind of Christ, and Submitting Your Will to Christ’s Will. Now, there is a final principle that must be applied to bring it all together…praying as a couple. We practice the three disciplines in prayer together. We seek the Word about a topic together, ask for wisdom together, and then submit our wills to Christ together. The Holy Spirit then speaks to us together and brings us into unity on a decision.
As a couple, you should be submitted to each other in the fear of the Lord (Ephesians 5:21), however, sometimes trials arise, and although you have both sought the Lord with all your heart, you still cannot come into agreement. When this happens in our marriage, my husband makes the ultimate decision; and I make the ultimate move of submission because of his headship over our marriage given to him by Christ. He does this through Christ’s strength, knowing that he ultimately carries the weight of responsibility before God for the direction he has chosen. I also submit in Christ’s strength, knowing that without the Holy Spirit I am unable to stand firm in my resolve if I am double-minded about his decision. We cannot have two heads in our marriage; one must go before us. Submission is not submission until you disagree. Until then, it’s merely agreement.
“Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as unto the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife, even as Christ is the head of the church: and He is the savior of the body. Therefore as the church is subject unto Christ, so let the wives be to their own husbands in everything” (Ephesians 5:22-24 KJV).
When these disciplines and principles are not practiced, couples become fractioned in their unity, and decisions become laborious and dreaded tasks. But when you come together before God, each putting His will before your own and your spouse before yourself, you can actually come to a place in your marriage where you enjoy making decisions together. You are stronger together as one flesh than you are individually, which is the purpose of marriage to begin with, and you will have the ultimate God-empowered team.
In order to make good decisions together, remember:
- Know the Word of God
- Develop the Mind of Christ
- Submit Your Will to Christ’s Will
- Pray Together
This will ensure that you have great success in making decisions together as a couple!