Make God the Ultimate Parent – Godly Tips for Single Moms

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For surely, O Lord, You bless the righteous; You surround them with your favor as with a shield.  Psalm 5:12 (NIV)

Prior to my single parenthood, I, like many Christians, had a casual relationship with God. I faithfully attended church on Sundays, and I prayed when I needed something from Him. My most intimate moments with Him were those when I needed a miracle. Most of the time, I depended on my own intellectual abilities and feelings to achieve goals and resolve problems.

However, finding myself alone in an unfamiliar city with two young sons and no car, job, or family, I desperately turned back to the God who (I had realized as a child growing up) had been the source of guidance for my mom and grandmother. Knowing that He had been faithful to them, I made a decision to depend on Him and to help me make godly decisions for my sons and myself (“…he who trusts in the Lord will prosper” Proverbs 28:25, NIV).

Today, I am a single parent who successfully raised two children that now call me blessed because I dared to have faith in God. I had to realize that He is the ultimate parent.  As a result of this decision and the successes I experienced while raising my sons, I offer the following guidelines, which are based on biblical promises:

Cast your cares on the Lord and He will sustain you; He will never let the righteous fall.  Psalm 55:22 (NIV)

Begin by allowing God to walk with you in your season of adjustment to the challenges of single parenthood. He is our Abba Father, or Daddy Father. Lean on Him. He has broad shoulders. Allow him to love you and to heal your brokenness, rejection, shame, guilt, self-condemnation, self-pity, or grief that might be hindering you. Being broken before Him is a privilege; it rids you of excessive weight that shackles or restrains you. God desires to restore those things that you have lost.
If any of you lacks wisdom, he should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to him.  James 1:5 (NIV)

Next, pray daily for wisdom in raising your children. In my case, this was most important because my boys had such different personalities. In fact, their personalities were at the opposite ends of the spectrum. While Michael, my eldest, was very strong-willed, Detavio was more mild-mannered.

…And a little child will lead them. Isaiah 11:6 (NIV)

In the early stages of my submission to God, I’m convinced that God imparted wisdom to me through my children, who were able to hear from God at a very early age. For example, Michael learned to walk at eight months old; at 10 months, he noticed that a cigarette had fallen out of an ash tray onto my mattress. He didn’t talk well, but he could point. He found me in the kitchen, took me by the hand, pulled me into the bedroom, and pointed at the cigarette burning my bed covers. As he grew up, he often worried about my smoking habit. He would tell me that cigarettes fried one’s brain, or he would try to quote scriptures to convince me to quit.

Unaware that God was speaking through Mike, I continued smoking until God also spoke through Detavio when he was almost two. He passed by me while I was smoking and said, “God doesn’t like what you’re doing.” When I asked him what he meant, he did not reply. Believe me, it was my last cigarette! Again, at age two and a half, Detavio, unable to read, brought the Bible to me opened to Isaiah 54, and said, “God told me to tell you to read this.” Ironically, at that very instant, I was lying across the bed feeling sorry for myself. I found encouragement in the verses Detavio had called to my attention because they assured me that God would be my husband and that no weapon formed against me would prosper. God knows how to impart wisdom, even through children, to the hearing ear!

She speaks with wisdom, and faithful instruction is on her tongue. She watches over the affairs of her household and does not eat the bread of idleness. Her children arise and call her blessed…. Proverbs 31:26-28, NIV

Finally, to keep from being overwhelmed by circumstances, I established functionally meaningful routines. My routines kept me on track. Eight o’clock was always bedtime. My children knew they had to pick up toys, bathe, and get dressed for bed. Bedtime was enjoyable because I put my children to bed with a story, a few songs, and back rubs.

There were some things my children and I always did as a family. Our meals were prepared and eaten together at a specific time. I generally awoke early to pray on my own, and then my children and I prayed together each morning before leaving home. We attended church on Sunday mornings and evenings, as well as on Monday nights for prayer. Other routines centered on homework, cleaning house, grocery shopping, and activities such as Cub Scouts and Boy Scouts. Routines helped me not to lose sight of the things I needed to accomplish during the day, and they kept my focus on what was important – my children.

In retrospect, my experience as a single mom has been rewarding, despite the many challenges. Today, I know I continue to be blessed just by observing how God now blesses Michael and Detavio in everything they do.

Bumblebees Fly Anyway

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Did you hear the buzz?  “Mama T” was in the hive this past Sunday, and all who attended were left with the sweet taste of the Word of God, like honey to their mouths.

Our guests were treated to a bee-utifully decorated hive, filled with scrumptious treats, prepared by our very own, Chef Justin Hopp.  They delighted in Yellow Endive and Blackberry Salad with Honey Vinaigrette, Blackened Steak and Yukon Gold Potato Bites, Honey Baked Ham and Cheese Melts, Honey Lavender Shortbread Cookies, Honeycomb Krispy Treats, Strawberry Lemonade, and Hot Tea with Honey.

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After our time of buzz-worthy food and fellowship, our guests flew in to the sanctuary, where they were presented with special gifts.  The ladies received a bee-utiful bumble bee pin, the men, teens, and children were treated to delicious candies.  As everyone was seated, our praise and worship team kicked off the service with special songs, reminding us that with God, nothing is impossible!  Our time of praise was concluded with a special song from “Mama T”’s 11-year-old granddaughter, Marsaille, who wonderfully sang, “Legacy.”

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Next, we were given the distinct privilege to welcome Thelma Wells; “Mama T”, to minister to all who were so blessed to be there.  It was like sitting back and listening to the wise words of your mother or grandmother.  She reminded us that we can “Bee the Best!”  No matter what we are going through, or what may have been, God will always get us through.

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Known as “Mama T,” Thelma Wells is a feisty 75 year old who has been featured in D Magazine, Southern Living, The Dallas Business Journal, The Dallas Morning News, Significant Living and many more publications and TV shows including Dr. Phil, The Joanie Show, Life Today and the 700 Club.  Traveling to 20+ conferences a year as a speaker, she’s sought after by corporations, women’s groups and governmental entities.  She’s no stranger to the stage, having presented to over a million people in her 35 year career and spoken on the stage with the best including Zig Ziglar, Max Lucado, the late Rosa Parks, Kay Arthur, June Hunt, Serita Jakes and of course, her Women of Faith porch pals:  Luci Swindoll, Sheila Walsh, Patsy Clairmont, Marilyn Meberg, Nicole Johnson and International Singer, Sandy Patti.

What an honor to have this wise woman minister to us!  Many hearts and souls were touched by the sweet words brought forth that evening; and all who were graced by her presence felt the love of “Mama T.”

Igniting Your Child’s Passion for Lifelong Learning

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Have you ever sat back and watched young children at play? Notice how they take something apart to see how it works, or use make-believe to act out a story. Children have such incredible imaginations and a natural passion to discover the world around them. Compare this excitement for discovery to what you see in […]

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Bumblebees Fly Anyway

Thelma Wells Bulletin back

http://thelmawells.com

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Never Give Up: It’s Time to Take a Stand

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Life has a way of not always ending up the way we think. Haven’t we all looked back at some time in our life and said, “How did I get here?” or “Lord, I was sure that door was going to open for me!” or “What happened to that friendship? I thought we would have […]

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Start Small, Dream Big – Sparkle, Grades 7-12

Dreem Big

Stories of success and self-determination are often shared throughout social media and the news. These stories can touch your heart or make you wonder, “Why didn’t I think of that?” Society makes it known that if you’re an “adult” these things can be easily accomplished. But what if you’re a teenager? Can your dreams or […]

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Amazing God, Amazing World-Changers – Glitter, Grades 1st – 6th

Amazing God World Changers

Have you ever looked at the world around you and thought “How can I help?” Maybe it was something you saw or experienced that made you feel compassion. It might have been something God spoke to you through a church service or whispered in your ear. It has become the topic of conversation with your […]

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Savor the Season

Savor The Season

  You roll over in bed just to get a glance at the red numbers on the alarm clock. Does it really say 6:30 AM already? Inhaling as if you are about to jump into a 25-foot deep pool, you pull yourself out of bed. Just as your feet hit the floor, the reality of […]

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GLAM UP YOUR ROOM And Make It One of a Kind

Glam up your room

Try this fun and easy craft to personalize your room Craft Instructions Step 1:  Gather your materials Purchase a wooden letter that represents your name, and a super cute picture holder. Find printed paper, glue, charms, gem stickers, fabric, or ribbon, silk flowers, and anything and everything you can think of to decorate! Step 2:  […]

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Decorating Walls with Love

Decorating Walls with Love

  My mom taught me many things about keeping my home attractive and clean, but first and foremost, she taught me how to love. Spreading joy and love around your home makes it a cozy nest. Home is where the heart is! It is important to make your home full of you – your loves, […]

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