Where’s the Love?

“I’m going out of town on Tuesday. Not sure when I’ll be able to come back. They really need me for this project. It could take a few weeks…”

Marc had been traveling on business for several weeks straight. I was juggling the responsibilities of being Mom and Dad. Working during the day and caring for our home and family in the evenings began to wear on me. The first week was fine, but after the second, then the third, and fourth, many bitter questions crept into my mind: “How does he get to just pack up and go on business for so long? Why can’t I ‘escape’ like that? What about me? Nobody’s helping me. How does he expect me to do all of this on my own? Where is the love?”

As soon as my little pity party fired up, God reminded me of His promises to me as His child. He sparked thoughts in my heart about my over-reliance on Marc for the love in my daily life. I was longing all day to hear his voice on the phone. If I missed the call or became too busy, I was angry that I didn’t get to share my day’s frustrations with him. My mind relentlessly focused on what he was doing and how it was “so much more fun” than all the work I had accomplished that day. My passion became extremely selfish and I found myself resenting the very things that God had blessed me with: my husband’s job that took him away for so long, the house I had to keep up with, and the kids who seemed to drain every ounce of energy I possessed.

It was like a virtual smack across the head, as if God was saying, “Hello! Listen, spoiled little thing. Look at what I have done! I am right here! Just look over here!” As clear as day, Matthew 6:33 echoed in my mind: “But seek first the kingdom of God, and his righteousness, and all these things shall be added unto you” (NKJV). God brought this scripture to the forefront of my thinking, and I began to seek Him for the love I was missing.

From that day on, I made a daily effort to wake up and thank Him for at least three things He had done for me the day before. I started to rely on God to bring me through. My intimacy with the Lord began to grow deeper. As I continued to seek the Lord and think about His goodness in everything I accomplished, I curiously found myself pondering what I could do to encourage my husband. I wondered, “How can I make his day better? How can I inspire him? What must it be like to be away from our family for so long? Oh, how he must need a big hug right now!”

What began as resentment and bitterness soon turned to compassion and tenderness toward my husband. Through my prayers for Marc, God opened my eyes to the “bigger picture.” There is more to this life than me and my selfish motivations. God wants me to be so focused on Him that every other relationship in my life will benefit from His love. There are no substitutes for the closeness and intimacy with the Lord that can be mine every single day! God brought me closer than ever to His love for me—not just the “closeness” to my husband, but intimacy with the Lord.

Marc and I had talked daily throughout his extended trip, but the best part was when I greeted him with open arms and encouragement rather than the typical It’s about time! Here’s a crying kid. You deal with it! Marc saw the love of Christ in my eyes.

Seek intimacy with the Lord more than anything! God will add the love you need, and all that you’re searching for. Yes, Marc is the love of my life, and I cannot imagine my world without him; however, I can’t expect him to provide all the love in my life. That is reserved for my heavenly Father!

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