“When Boy Meets Girl: Understanding How the Other Half Thinks” – Part 1


The differences between men and women are not only well-documented, but frequently at the heart of good-natured (and sometimes not so good-natured) anecdotes. Experts have discovered that there are actually differences in the way men’s and women’s brains are structured, and hence, differences in the way they think. These differences have been at the core of many marriage struggles, and unless we purpose to understand that we have been created differently, we will continue to go around the relational merry-go-round and live in frustration. 

Outside of your relationship with Christ, your ability to communicate is one of the greatest assets you bring to your marriage. Couples who develop better communication skills tend to have better relationships with each other. Great communicators are people who change their approach based upon the person they are talking to and that couldn’t be truer than when applied to marriage. Becoming fully aware of the communication differences between the two sexes will positively impact your relationship with your husband.

Men tend to use the left side of their brains, while women have a tendency to use the right side of their brains. We all have left- and right-brain qualities and function in both hemispheres; however, research has shown that men and women have a propensity to function on opposite sides of the brain. This translates into the following differences as to how we handle situations. Be sure to remember these and adjust your communication patterns when expressing care and concern, when communicating about anything important, and when problem solving.

After reviewing the chart, can you see how you and your spouse/significant other differ from one another? The first part is recognizing who you are and who your spouse is.  From there you can then learn to embrace and appreciate your differences and use them to create a healthier relationship. More times than not, God will bring two people together who are completely different in order that where one person is weak in an area the other is strong. This week recognize where you may be different from your spouse; however, instead of looking at it in a negative light, list how this difference is a good thing and focus on appreciating that difference.

  Left Brain (typically men)  Right Brain (typically women) 
1 Task-oriented Relation-oriented
2 Logical, sequential – sees cause and effect Abstract – sees correspondences, resemblances
3 Rational Intuitive
4 Objective Subjective
5 Looks at parts Looks at wholes
6 Less aware of people and feelings More aware of people and feelings
7 Looks at differences Looks at similarities
8 Prefers established, certain information Prefers elusive, uncertain information
9 Planned and structured Fluid and spontaneous
10 Controls feelings Free with feelings
11 Uses logic Uses feeling
12 Detail-oriented “Big picture”-oriented
13 Facts rule Imagination rules
14 Math and science Philosophy and religion
15 Knowing Believing
16 Acknowledges Appreciates
17 Knows object name Knows object function
19 Holds eye contact for 3 seconds Holds eye contact for 12 seconds



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